Parse this!

..........Let me tell it to you straight! I do not like parse'ng and I have my own reasons. Many people do not understand that parse'ngs main purpose is to use it as a tool to make a determination in which way you are getting the best DPS by changing something with your character. That could be gear, that could be a subjob, a weapon or anything .........or any combonation of things. However most people don't use it for this. Instead they use it to measure their penis size. Don't get me wrong this is ok if it's between friends for the fun of it...I actualy enjoy it when RingThree anounces that he will be parse'ng in Einherjar events..... but I will say that it is highly unfair that other people parse and only anounced it at the end of the battle. Why is that unfair you may ask? ...........There are many things that you can do to increase your parse in battle. The most important one is changing your battle target to the next mob at the last second of the current mobs HP before it dies. This gets rid of the time wasted of putting away your weapon, waiting for the designed ingame delay of re-engage'ng the next mob, and then waiting for the animation to redraw out your weapon. If you do not know someone is parse'ng and you are not doing this ..........but they are...... then they will be way ahead of you at the end parse result. ...........The next common way to increase your parse is to not use your specific job ability/spells that do not help you increase you melee output. These are actually parse'ng time sinks. What do I mean? I'll use Drk as a example. All my spells (especially Stun) and abilities like Weapon Bash do not create as much or any damage at all compared to just melee'ng and are waste'ng precious time in your parse...... Mean while the H2H Monk right next to you is pounding away the mobs face in ....increasing his percentage of the parse. I don't like this. I am a Drk. I am needed to Stun and I use every ability I have at my disposal in every battle. Mean while the War next to you (who the entire battle was spamming King's Justice with Berserk on to the hilt)....... was like "Man.... I am da Master with da top Parse wooooooooooooot". ...........This leads me to my other complaint..... Drk's are so good at creating hate .......that Nin's sub Drk to get maximum hate. Do you know how hard it is for a Drk to be able to use his 2 main abilities like Last Resort and Soul Eater at all in a battle and not pull hate and die? It takes alot of skill. Mean While the Drg right next to you is going full out with his Melee abilities and Super Jumping his hate away. ............Anyway like I said.... I don't like parse'ng........and thanks to my friend Clubber I realize that people are always parse'ng against me .... no matter where I go........LMAO .......I now have the constant fear that someone will /point at me and say "Your penis is smaller then mine" .....then they will wip out their ....................errr... they will wip out the parse to try and prove it. It's as if they are seeking to get a new Final Fantasy in game Title "I out parsed Jess ZOMG". Kind of like how Kallo has a new title "I killed Jess with my army of Versus charmed LinkShell members but I stabbled him with my Kallo'ness for the last hit" .... LMAO ..............I don't want to even get into the Parse'ng chat log versus filters versus allaince members out of range issue. .......Remember...... I said I do not like parse'ng. I never said that I hate parse'ng. I actually parse really good from what I am told. I can not tell because I am on X-Box 360. All I ask that if you want to parse against me then you anounce it ahead of time and let's do it only for some fun. Do not compare your DPS to my DPS directly thinking it's a show of someone's in game skill or manlyness........or I will wip out my manlyness ................err skill and you don't want that. 'Cause mine is bigger then yours! LMAO ........ /em rides on his High horse... err Choco "Dark Night" into the sunset in Valkrum Dunes. ........................oh yeah also .... Steel Cyclone flagged..................... War Xp capped.......................... See ya online ~BAM